Since adoption is something that I have wanted SO badly for so many years, you would think I would be whipping out paperwork and checking off boxes like a Type A Superstar. Seriously, what is my problem?!
I could blame the 'system' for taking so long between steps. I could even leave it as chronic procrastination, but I know it's more than that. It's fear. I'm terrified about a whole laundry list of what-if's. I know so much about adoption and the good, bad, and the ugly, and I'm terrified that we will only experience the bad and the ugly and none of the good.
It gets harder and harder to hold on to our resolve to 'get our hands dirty' when you start to see the mud puddles. Intellectually, I believe that we are not in this world to have everything easy and that eternity will be worth any pain, suffering, rejection, and grief that we experience in this life. But signing up for all that FOR REAL is just plain scary.
But,
" For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline."
2 Timothy 1:7
New American Standard Bible (NASB)
(Be sure to check for updates to our timeline HERE)
I hear you! We have completed two international adoptions. Now we are almost ready to accept our first foster care placement- scary! This is where relying on God for strength really kicks in! I keep reminding myself, just because it feels scary doesn't mean its not right.
ReplyDeleteThank you! That's exactly what I keep telling myself ;-) I can see I am way behind on reading your blog! Congrats on starting this third journey! How are things going with your BF sweetie? Off I go to catch up on you all... :-)
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